Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
