no. you can't hotbox the world.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
