Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
