idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
