wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
