My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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