he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
