You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
