i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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