The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
