Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
