my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Hippo gnu deer
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
