Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
