KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
