Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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