Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize