I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
