What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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