So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
