i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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