i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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