I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
