My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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