So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
