He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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