He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
