he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
