but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
