So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
