I just threw up on my dentist
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
