**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
