ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Randomize
