Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize
