Already got asked if we're dating
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Randomize
