we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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