she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
