I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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