I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
The struggles of a small town man whore
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
