I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize