She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
This girl is more easily done than said...
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
