chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
So vagazzling was a success
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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