Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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