Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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