I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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