I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
