I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
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