yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
