if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
