I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
The power of my boobs compel you
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
