i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize