You don't have asthma, your pregnant
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
