I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
