I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He told me they were just razor bumps!
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
