bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
