From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
