I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
