you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
i now understand why vodka
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
