And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
