I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
